For The Mom Who Wants To Live On Her Own Terms
She was drained. A shadow of the once vibrant woman I was knew. ĎI have lost who I used to be. I am not the same personí. She said.
Something in her had slumbered. She admits to seizing the drive wheel. For pitís sake she wants life on her own terms. But every time she takes control, she slid back into that horrible sink hole.
We spent time going to the places we both dreaded.
Our conversation revealed the heart of the matter. The battle for control. Control the kids, your husband, your family, your in-lawsÖyikes the list is endless.
Is Control ever possible?
Can you control everything in your life including what happens?
Sister hearts would seek to create a safe place for each other to pour out our pain as we seek Godís face hand in hand.
You need some sister to look you in the face and tell you the truth! Thatís what we did. We both agreed to talk to God about it and practice intentional surrender.
I know the tempting feeling of wanting life to go on your terms. Many of us know the storms come unexpectedly. The winds of life blow hard and many times we can control the sailing ship. At best we end our ship in a wreckage.
Shall I speak to the woman who wants to be in charge of everyone, everything and whatever else that is in her world?
Can I speak a word of truth that would free your soul from the needless weight?
I know the world says it. It screams it loud and towers it over us. Live life on your own terms!
Three powerful reminders:
>>You can not sustain yourself
O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:23
>>God is in control
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21
>>God Has Plans For Your Life
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Bible Reading: Luke 12 : 16-21
Do remember the rich man who thought he had life figured out? He heaped, worked, heaped. Just when he thought ok, it is time to rest now.
He seemed to have his life moving A then B then C and so on.
We donít need an accident to tell us we are fragile.
We donít need a sudden economic fall to tell us we can do so much but not everything!
Sister, you need God all the step of the way.
Where is God in all your plans, and schemes?
Live life on Godís terms.
If your terms are not aligned to His Will then you will crash. For the mom who loves to be control, allow me be real to you.
You want control? You canít do it.
Trusting God means surrender even when you donít want to.
3 Practical Steps For You
Hands off the steering wheel. Yes, you should totally, take your butts off the driver seat. (Psalm 121:1)
Let God lead. Follow gently and quietly. (Psalm 23)
Be Still. Donít let the rushing of circumstances unsettle the peace of God in your heart. (Psalm 46:10)
I shared how I learned the beauty of surrender. I am still learning to leave all the little, not so little and big things for God to handle.
Our heart to heart conversation would always end in a prayer. Shall we pray?
Dear Jesus have mercy upon me for every time I thought I could handle life. For every time I took the steering wheel of my life, shower me with your mercies. You know my desires and I trust you have plans even greater than these desires for me. Give me a yielding heart. Take away my stubborn stony heart that wants to go it own way. I come before you today to give everything, my all, to you. Thank you Jesus for setting the pace for my life, home and family in Jesus name. Amen
For The Mom Afraid To Wear Her Shoes
My daughter has a knack for boots. She would always to slip her feet into my boots. Giggle with so much excitement. Cheering herself as though she had won a prize. Struggling to lift a tower-sized heel is an enormous job even for an adult, she would raise one foot after another.
Imagine yourself taking on a super-sized shoe or try fitting into three sizes down shoes!
You will look frumpy, with a funny gait and clumsy appearance.
Bible Readings: 2 Corinthians 10:12, Ephesians 2:10
No matter how much I would try a size down, I will hurt my feet. Why?
Obviously, the shoe size is inappropriate. It is not suited for me.
I canít derive contentment wearing that one-size down footwear. It is meant for another. Neither would not oversize do justice to my feet! Ha!
Our lives are a lot like those shoes.
Imagine a mom trying to make her child look, act, speak and become someoneís kid. It is never going to work. That kid wonít come out rightÖhis/her thought would be based on what others are doing and their perceptions of him/herÖ Iím sure no mom wants that.
Are you wearing your shoes?
Or are you trying hard to make another fit?
To the mom wearing another momís shoes or desiring themÖ
Dear mom, just as your shoe size is different, your life is.
Your life doesnít have to depend on someone elseís shoes.
You have got yours perfectly suited to accommodate the shape and size of your feet.
Your feet would hurt or suffocate if you keep trying other momís shoes.
Be the fun and real mom you are! Keep learning everyday. And growing too.
Never be afraid to wear your shoes. Rock them and love them.
You know what I mean.*smiling*
But godliness with contentment is great gain I Timothy 6:6
Eventually, youíd give up and be frustrated as my daughter who realized she couldnít take a step with mamaís shoes without dropping off one of the pair.
Her frustrations are comparable to those we experience when we attempt to live to live a life thatís not ours while leaving our God- given lives in a vacuum.
Donít try to walk in the shoes of other mom-friends, you might fall. Several attempts to tailor our lives according to others frustrate us.
Think about this: Whose shoes are you wearing today?
I donít want to wake up on morning and realize I have been working so hard to be someone else.
God has not called us to be duplicates. He has called you to be no-one else than the person He created you to be. Not a replica!
There are no two Moses, no two Elijahís, and no two Pauls etc. Every person has a unique assignment for their lives. God has made you unique, special and beautiful you donít need to walk, talk or act the way someone else does to fulfill your purpose.
In 1 Corinthians 3:3-9, Apostle Paul warns us of these divisions which generate envy and strife. In whatever we do, our service is for Godís glory and He alone will give us increase.
Having said all, it is enough to learn from those we admire but not lose ourselves in the process. Each man or woman should make their own mark and be a blessing those God sends their way.
Lord help me to live according to your plans for me. Dear Jesus, I fix my eyes on the path that you have chosen for me (Proverbs 4:25-26) hold my hands and lead me all the way in Jesus name. Amen
For the mom afraid of the future
It is was a frantic panic. Like an eagle facing the eye of the storm, I stuffed a few of my things into the suitcase. No inkling whatsoever. What had I said yes to?
Moving miles away from family, friends and away from familiar is a big deal.
ĎYes, I doí implies packing and going along.
The ring on this finger meant a commitment not ceremony.
I reminisce on those early years of marriage and began to wonder what Sarai felt when Abraham came home with the big news (before they were called Sarah and Abraham). Genesis 12:1
Bible Reading: Matthew 6:25-34
I imagine Abram coming home one day from the field, calmly looking at his wife and saying. ĎMy love, we are movingí.
You can mentally fill the gap. Hereís Sarai his wife, perhaps not newly married with no kids to call her momma. You would agree with me, moving would be the last thing on her mind.
Studying that one verse means a lot. God spelled out the people he would move from (his country, his kindred, his fatherís house).
Suggesting they belonged to a close knit family who did everything together. Maybe she had solace being among their siblings, sitting and eating together and the women probably doing cooking, laundry and housekeeping together.
Saying yes to God means leaving the beautiful, safe, super familiar and comfortable to the unmarked, less trodden and unknown but sure future.
Suddenly, Abrahamís Yes to God meant all of these Sarai had known all her life was going away.
Quick question: How hard was it for Sarai to go along with Abraham?
Friend, that must have been real hard!
She must have had questions, anxiety, uncertainty and loads of it. Imagine the conversation proceeding further this way:
Sarai: Where are we going?
Abram: Where Jehovah shows us!
Shocked, wide-eyed Sari turning gently toward her husband completely taken aback by his responseÖ.really? The Bible never mentions her objecting or stating her fears.
Hold on, or was she excited? Ok I canít tell!
But Sarah simply trusted.
She trusted the God of Abraham.
Trust means going along with God even when the future is unknown
Trust is following God especially in uncharted paths.
Trust is placing your hand in Godís hand and letting Him lead the way.
When God says donít worry about tomorrow, it means Heís Got it covered.
Thinking about the future can be scary particularly when you are not sure what it holds
I bet you, most of us are pretty anxious people.
We moms, are notorious for anxiety and worrying.
Perhaps you reading this has a fear of the future or
You are anxious about the doctorís report,
You are worried about our account statement, credit cards, bills, fees and everything financial,
You are afraid of a job loss and how we would cope,
You are anxious about our kids, their education, their health, their well-being,
Or may be itís marriage giving you concernsÖ.
Iím done the list is endless!
Nothing can be as worrisome as worrying itself.
Sadly, it is so unprofitable that it begins to wear our physical bodies out.
This is for you dear anxious mom, can you simply TRUST God?
Trust also means, you pray, believe, repeat.
Practical Changes You Can Make Today
- Declutter your lifeÖ desk, cupboards and room. I have been there too. Are you sucked in with work?I was fond of piling journals, books on one corner close to the bed. I thought I would jump right in and continue with work it when Iím fully rested.
No! It didnít work. I only built in anxiety, restlessness, needless sleep deprivationÖ.
Cluttering reflects the state of your mind.
- Unplug and take a walk or a nap. Get up already! Do you notice when you constantly look at your phone you get anxious about what is going to happen, who is going to call next or read a message or somehow you end up on social media feeds?
Walk away from unnecessary drama.
- Give room for your soul to breathe. Practice silencing the message alerts. Time your phone checks. Put away items that cause for anxiety and panics.
Grab a book sit in the porch and sip some fruit juice.
- Calm down listen. Donít over process things. Avoid spontaneous responses or quick fixes based on fear. Try going to a private place pray over the situation. It saves you heartaches.
Listen with both ears and assume nothing
- Quit Worrying over everyone and everything. Instead soak them up in prayer. Praying for your families, your childrenís future, your husbandís decisions, health issues and other concerns works miracles.
Soak up everything in Prayer
- Take one day at a time. Remember the future is not yours to worry about. Ask for your portion of Grace daily.
God Owns The Future, You Donít
3 Scriptures When you are afraid of the future
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof Matthew 6:34
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6
A Prayer For You
Dear Lord, I pray for this mom who is reading this and wondering where her familyís next meal would come from, or rent or health issues, her kids, her husband, or whatever makes her heart to move away from Trusting you. Dear Jesus, calm that storm she is going through. Let your peace keep her heart. Let her experience a flooding of your grace. Let your favor greet her paths and let your mercy overtake her. Let there be testimonies in the lives of these who believe and call your name in Jesus Name. Thank you Jesus for answering our prayer. Amen
Break the Chains of Fear
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23
I froze. Uncontrollable tears trickled down as I watched the horrific video sent to me. In between pity, anger, confusion, fears, I canít put the emotions I felt into words. This is someoneís daughter, son, neighbor, siblingÖ..I was hysterical.
You know that popular phrase, that keeps us glued to negative news, I have said these words, may be you have too.
ĎYou just need to know how much evil is aroundíÖ
Really? How much evil do we need to know?
How much is enough? When do we unplug?
The Bible says the whole world is soaked in wickedness.
And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness. 1 John 5:19
What more? These things shouldnít quake our hearts or steal our peace.
We are not from Utopia societies, evil is everywhere but that should never be an excuse to glorify the enemy by spreading news or rumors of his works.
Iím a mom like you and it freaks me out. Turning the news seeing all the horrible things freaks me out and I get mad when the victims are children. What matters is not how mad we get. It is reassuring to remember we are Godís children. He still cares deeply for His own. When we see these things we are not to be moved.
Here is something the sad news does. It gradually nurtures our hearts to be suspicious of everyone and everything. So much so, a bunch of folks have stopped believing thereís any good around, or that miracles exist or that God even caresÖ
Friend, thereís Jesus, there is the Mercy seat, and Grace abounds right in this chaotic mess.
Thereís still light in this dark world. (Luke 1:79)
Jesus Christ is all we need. (John 14:27)
Do you see what fear does?
Fear locks you away.
It puts barriers that arenít there.
Sets boundaries and creates distance around people.
Fear is the enemyís weapon to a life bondage. We are an over-informed age, with constant news streaming in our faces.
Fear is one way people react to this information overload.
Thatís what the enemy thrives onÖFEAR
Do you notice how much fear we pass around? Every time we share, re-share, talk about all the negativity out there, we magnify the enemy. In fact, we freely promote him!
Yes we are guilty of it!
Imagine if we used up our social media time spreading the Good news of the Gospel.
Imagine, we spent more time praying for our children, families, churches, neighbors, communities etc.
Imagine, we all spent time contributing to our productively in our communities, schools and workplaces.
3 Practical steps You Can Take Today
Do not go over what the enemy is doing. Words have power. They either contain life or death (Proverbs 18:21). Before you re-share, click post or send button ask yourself
ĎAm I spreading the gospel of Faith or fear?í
Do not entertain Fear: Every time fear knocks, recall the scriptures to send it right back where it belongs, hell.
Use your Block and Delete Buttons where necessary: Personally, Iíd asked a few friends to avoid sending graphic videos and messages especially when the intent goes more than giving information to instilling fear. Block unnecessary channels and groups.
5 Biblical Truths That Break The Chains of Fear
- Jesus has conquered the worldÖ including every fear we ever think about. John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33
- Fear only attract those evils. Cast out every fear. A believer doesnít have the Spirit of Fear. (2 Timothy 1:7)
- Jesus still calms every storm. Thereís power in the Name of Jesus to break every hold of fear over your life. Whether its fear over your life, children, family, marriage, community (Mark 4:39)
- Fill up your thought life with goodness and wealth from Godís Word. (Philippians 4:8 and Joshua 1:8)
- Be Intentional about the information you absorb. Be careful what your eyes, ears and mouth receive and spread. Iím sure you know what you consistently dwell upon becomes your reality. Proverbs 23:7
Todayís Prayer: Dear Lord, Prince of Peace, thank you for making your peace available to me. Bring to knees every situation that causes my heart to fear in Jesus Name. Break every chains of fear by the Power in the Name of Jesus. Thank you for granting my heart peace in Jesus name. Amen