Tagged with "Son"
"The Art of Bullying" by Mary Dolan Flaherty Tags: bullying self-image personal growth self-worth self-care

The Art of BullyingApparently, I am a bully. I have learned the art of bullying quite well it seems.

Someone very close to me, someone I care a lot about told me this recently. I was a bit shocked. I had no idea.

She told me this:

Mary, for as long as we’ve known each other, you have belittled, ridiculed, mocked me, and called me names. You’ve told me I’m stupid and fat and ugly and weird. You’ve made me feel inferior and insignificant. I’ve often felt like I just can’t measure up to your standards and expectations, no matter how hard I try. You expect perfection, and I constantly fall short. Then, you lose your temper when I don’t come through. I feel like it’s my fault for everything that goes wrong in your life.

I felt my heart pound. I tried to defend myself, but she was on a roll.

I feel guilty all the time. Whenever I mess up, I feel like an idiot, because that’s what you’ve told me for years. I see how you encourage and accept others. I watch how you seem to convey to them that it’s okay to have flaws. I listen to you tell them that God loves them no matter what. Regardless of how they view themselves, you always try to explain how God’s love overrides what they think. You allow others to be who they are, but you ignore me. I look at you and see a hypocrite.
Why are you so hard on me? Why do I feel as though you’ve never been able to love me, really love me, just the way I am?

Again, I opened my mouth to defend myself, but she went on.

All I want is to be treated with the same respect and dignity that you give to everyone else. Don’t you think we all deserve that?

My heart beat wildly in shame. The more she went on, the more ashamed I felt. I couldn’t believe how I’d wounded this special woman, this soul so dear to me. How had I allowed this beautiful child of God to feel so worthless? How had I not seen it?

Shame on me!

was more important that I make it right. This wasn’t about me. But it was.

I’m so sorry, I said. I had no idea I was treating you so badly.

Actually, she said, I believe you did know and chose to continue, because I’m just not as important as everyone else.

Oh, that’s not true! I insisted. Of course you are!

It is true, Mary, she said quietly. And then, so quietly, that I almost didn’t hear her:
You’ve been bullying me for as long as I can remember. It needs to stop.

Silence ensued. We stared at one another, she strangely confident for someone who felt so abused; me in an awkwardly dawning revelation, feeling more convicted the longer I met her knowing eyes.

Until I could no longer deny it. She was right.

I’m sorry, so sorry. You’re right. I have bullied you into thinking that you’re not good enough. I’ve focused on your flaws instead of your beauty. I’ve compared you to every supermodel, every icon, and even every mother. Instead of helping you and understanding your difficulty in remembering certain things, I’ve made fun of you and called you a ditz and a scatterbrain. I’ve even allowed others to make fun of you and never stepped in to your defense.

Instead of building up your confidence, I’ve attempted to tear you down every time you mess up. Instead of allowing you to make mistakes, I’ve kept a tally of everything you’ve done wrong.

Instead of treating you with dignity, I’ve called you stupid. I’ve ridiculed you in public and scolded you worse in private. I’ve been a bully and you’ve been my scapegoat.

The truth is, when I look at you, I see a beautiful, confident, and smart woman who loves to make people laugh. You use humor to diffuse an awkward or a potentially unstable situation.

I remember how you used to rage at the world, and now you don’t let anger dominate your circumstances.

You’re no longer that sad, angry, and lonely girl who was filled with self-pity and insecurity. By the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, and through many years of life lessons, you have overcome and you’ve never let anything keep you down. You’ve become a pretty cool person who I’m really proud to call my friend.

As I continued to speak life into her, I watched her stature and her smile grow. It matched my own.
It had felt a bit odd to talk to myself in the mirror. Watching my own reaction had been difficult too, but that was the catalyst to change. I needed to face my wounded self as well as my bully self.

You’re right, Mary, we haven’t been very kind to one another over the years, have we? I think it’s time to call a truce, to reconcile.

Accept yourself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself with dignity and respect. Do unto yourself as you do unto others. Celebrate who God made you to be, what you’ve overcome and who you’ve become. You’re pretty awesome.

My bullied-self and my bully-self made a pact in the mirror. I suppose if my other self wasn’t two dimensional we may have shaken on it or hugged, but that borders on insanity. And that’s a story for another day.

What–or who–do you see when you look in the mirror? It might be time to have a serious discussion with yourself.

Mary Dolan Flaherty

Mary Dolan Flaherty is a quirky gal who loves to encourage people and make them laugh. She writes and speaks with self-deprecating humor and transparency, saying what most people think but won’t admit.  She lives in New Jersey with her husband, whom she affectionately calls Hubbles, and has two grown children and two grand-dogs. Mary enjoys hiking, theatre, music, gardening, and traveling and can be found blogging at SonRiseInsights.com.

“At the Kitchen Table with Momma – Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth” by Sharon L. Patterson Tags: kitchen table momma heaven earth Sharon L. Patterson Patterson

I sat up in bed, still startled from what I had just experienced.  For a moment, I questioned where I was until I looked to see my husband sleeping soundly bedside me. Was that a dream I just had?  It seemed so much more.  It was SO REAL!  As my husband stirred from sleep I felt compelled to share the dream with him.

“Honey, this is going to sound really strange to you, but I feel like I have just spent time with Mother.”

His quizzical look prompted an immediate response, “I know-it’s impossible.” Mother had passed away a few years earlier.

“What makes you say that?” my husband queried back as he got out of bed to get ready for work.

“Well, to begin with, I can describe the atmosphere of the room we were in. I can still see and smell the flood of sunshine coming through the large open window. It felt like a cool spring morning.  I was conscious of the freshness of it.”

“What do you mean you could smell the sunshine?”

“When I was a girl, Mother and I would hang clothes on the line.  When they were dry, and we brought them inside, you could smell the sunshine. That is how the room smelled.”

Before he thought me completely daffy, I continued: “There were silk organza ruffled curtains on that window – mother’s favorite. She and I were sitting at the kitchen table. You know, the dinette like the one she and dad had forever.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Mother apologized to me.”

“What for?”

“For all the things she did that she knew hurt me during the years when she was drinking.”

There had been no time for us to talk about much of anything as mother’s death at forty-four was quite sudden and unexpected. She had an acute epileptic seizure and was gone in an instant. I was at school when I got the call. I remember thinking, “I didn’t even get to tell her good-bye.”

But today, somewhere between heaven and earth, Mother and I met at the kitchen table. We had time to talk about things in both our hearts.

I don’t know what exactly happened, but I know that the conversation led to a great healing in my soul that is just as real at the smell of fresh sunshine that flooded that room.

 

Sharon Patterson, retired educator, career military wife, and leader in women’s ministry, has written inspirational encouragement in various forms from greeting cards to short stories, poetry, and Bible studies for over thirty years. She has authored three books, and is a contributing author for several of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. She and her husband Garry live in Round Rock, Texas. They have three sons and five grandchildren. You can read more of Sharon’s inspirational articles in the April 2017 issue of RUBY magazine.

“Seasons & Waiting” by Cassidy Burdge Tags: Seasons & Waiting Cassidy Burdge

Seasons and Waiting by Cassidy Burdge

Last summer I went on a mission trip and one of my leaders always talked about how life is in seasons and we have to be able to keep up even when the seasons change. I loved what was said, but I never really understood exactly what she meant when she talked about seasons and waiting.

But boy do I now! With school and the change of classes and teachers I would always separate my academic year into seasons. But outside of my academic year I never saw my life as a series of seasons.

Until this year (what a grand year 2017!) This year I have gone through seasons of sadness, struggle, hurt, but also the fun ones, extreme joy, growth, and ease. With each season the Lord reveals a different side of who He is and each season is equally important.
As I started doing season hopping, I realized how easy it is to get all caught up in a specific season and forget to spend time with the one in charge of your season… Jesus Christ. This will wreck your season, guaranteed. The most important thing in life is to remember to seek Christ above all things. Whether you’re in the most stressful season of your life or the easiest, you need to intentionally seek Christ.

 

I have also started to value each season, even if at first it is not easy. I tend to enjoy the seasons of happiness and growth way…WAY more than the ones of sadness or grief. But the Lord has revealed to me this year that both seasons are equally important and one wouldn’t be as great without the other.

 

With that being said, one of the hardest seasons for me is waiting. I am so impatient so this time is very hard for me. Seasons and waiting are part of life, but they are definitely not much fun!

Ironically, the season I struggle with is the one I’m in right now (actually not ironic at all… I asked for this). Right now I am waiting to see what my future holds. My family is going through some transitions and taking some new steps which could drastically change my situation. So I am playing the waiting game, all day, every day… woo!

The first few weeks of my waiting season I was not happy and was not waiting very well. But I’m about a month in and can gladly say that I am okay with waiting. I am okay with handing all of my future into God’s hands and letting Him do with it as He pleases.

 

The God that is with me during this waiting season is the same God that was with me just a few months ago during a season of amazingly great joy. The same God that held my hand during seasons of bravery and never let go is the same God telling me to slow down and to be patient.
He has never let me down and He never will. So I will wait and wait well. I encourage you, whatever season you are in, to seek the Lord and see what goodness is in your season right here, right now.

 

XOXO, The Christian Prepster 

 

Cassidy Burdge is the Christian Prepster, a high school student living the Christian lifestyle in a preppy state of mind. She has a deep love for sharing Christ through her writing and blogging, and she is excited to be part of Ruby Magazine. Cassidy blogs about anything from Biblical teachings to book reviews. You can connect with Cassidy on her blog, The Christian Prepster at https://thechristianprepster.wordpress.com/

The Power of Easter Blessings
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: The Power of Easter Blessings Easter Blessings Easter Blessings Sharmelle Olson April 2017 2017

The Power of Easter Blessings

With the power of Easter Blessings

we can bring God's love and grace

into our lives by his songs we like singing

And praising the Lord from the surface.

 

The power of Easter Blessings in God's place

Is very profound and loved very gracefully

By your own way of being present with his grace

in so many ways will change your life faithfully.

 

The power of Easter Blessings brings a passage

in a way it becomes a graceful successful  prayer

that will always praise God with a message

of powerful words that symbolizes he cares.

 

The power of Easter Blessings can be a challenge

in so many ways that we can overcome with God's

grace that will send you through the passage

With God's way to represent you as it proceeds.

 

It's the time Jesus rose from the Dead.

 

By Sharmelle Olson

April 2017

Whispers of Easter Blossoms
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: Whispers of Easter Blossoms Easter Blossoms Sharmelle Olson April 2017 2017

Whispers of Easter Blossoms

The whispers of Easter blossoms coming in silently

are beautiful  in colors that brighten up your days.

As we come closer to Spring the blossoms are primacy

to bring in our Easter devotionals and praise.

 

As the whispers of Easter Blossoms keeps coming softly

The Easter Blossoms can show their Beautiful way

by their vibrant colors that come in surprisingly

gentle and calming through the beautiful day.

 

As the Whispers of Easter Blossoms keeps  coming so radiantly

they grow so vibrantly and righteously with such a radiant glow

that makes them delightfully beautiful, and looks glazed evenly

when you look into them beautiful Blossoms you may watch them grow.

 

As the Whispers of Easter Blossoms keep bestowing upon you

Please remember that they grow in their beauty and style

while these blossoms became to your attention while they grow

They will impress you by their wonderful growing style.

 

By Sharmelle Olson

April 2017

Easter Blossom Wonders
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: Easter Blossom Wonders Easter Blossom Wonders Sharmelle Olson April 2017

Easter Blossom Wonders

Spring and Easter bring the Easter lilies

Easter Lilies are a treat that has a wonderful fragrance

The Easter Lilies have a presents that is earthily

The beauty of these Easter Lilies have a beautiful presents.

 

Daffodils symbolizes friendship, rebirth, and eternal life

They are bright yellow trumpet shaped flowers

Daffodils are so beautiful that they could come in rife

And somehow finds it's way for gentle whispers.

 

Another Beautiful Easter Bloom is the Narcissus

In parts of Europe the Narcissus was the first flower

associated with Easter. It makes you want to make wishes

while in Germany the Narcissus is the most popular flower.

 

Worldwide the third most popular spring flower is the tulips.

The tulips represent the rebirth of perfect love and spring.

The Easter tulips are in so may ways the smoothest

the tulips can be used instead of onions while cooking.

 

By Sharmelle Olson

April 2017

“An Unlikely Match becomes the Perfect Catch” by Sharon L. Patterson Tags: An Unlikely Match becomes the Perfect Catch by Sharon L. Patterson Sharon Patterson

Have you heard…Coach P is dating the French teacher?”  That was the scuttlebutt going around the high school where we both taught. I guess, in a way, you could say we had quite a crowd watching the development of our dating relationship in the spring of 1981. There was no Facebook or You-Tube, but there were 2300 sets of eyes on us five days a week that semester.

What an unlikely match we were. He loved the outdoors and camping as well as coaching football and track. His attire included coaching shorts and tennis shoes. He loved math and science.

I, on the other hand, loved fashion and beautiful clothes, trips that included the beautiful outdoors as seen from the window of a lovely air-conditioned hotel room. I loved French cuisine, music and languages.

The French teacher and Coach P?  Would such an unlikely match make it past that spring?  Was it simply a wonderful time of the year when match-making becomes the prime goal of teacher friends who thought these two single parents should be introduced? Were we only a source of great student gossip?

Thirty-two years later, what began as an unlikely match turned out to be the perfect catch for both Coach P and the French teacher.

We continued to be the hottest love story on campus through the fall semester. Everyone grew accustomed to seeing “us” which included my two small sons and his boy at football games and track meets.

In between late-night track meets and football practice, a summer trip to France with my students, Coach P and I would talk on the phone till late in the night, get up and teach the following day. We discussed everything we could possibly think of. That is, except for one thing that nearly caused a final chapter in our love story.

It happened the afternoon we went to apply for our marriage license. We were filling out the requested information. I looked over at his form and noticed the date he put down as his birthday.

“Honey,” I said, “You put down the wrong year you were born!” He looked at me, by now used to my very honest opinions and replied, “Sweetheart, I think I know the year I was born!”

“But…that means I am three years older than you!.”

“So, what difference does that make?”

“Well, that means I am marrying a younger man…I just don’t know about that,” I said. I could not believe that in all our months of dating, through hours and hours of learning about one another, that had escaped us.  Thankfully, his persuasion that it made no difference to him was enough to convince me to make the right decision.

We married December 12th.  We had many witnesses. The story and the school room gossip faded from popularity. “Us” now includes our boys, a daughter-in-law, four grandsons, and one granddaughter as well as thirty-five years of stories and history. The unlikely match remains the perfect catch to this day.

 

Sharon Patterson, retired educator, career military wife, and leader in women’s ministry, has written inspirational encouragement in various forms from greeting cards to short stories, poetry, and Bible studies for over thirty years. She has authored three books, and is a contributing author for several of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. She and her husband Garry live in Round Rock, Texas. They have three sons and five grandchildren.

Within My Heart ~ The Search For My Children Update…
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: Son Children The Search For My Children Within My Heart

I am so excited to share that I am in contact with my son and the parent that adopted him. everything is cool between his mom and I even though Robert and I have been out of the picture for many years. She was fine with Robert and I getting in contact with her again and be in contact with our son because we always got along with each other before.

I talked to my son for the first time on Wednesday. He was able to meet his Dad and Grandfather that is terminally ill over the phone. I talk to his mom about possibly coming out to see his Grandfather before he passes and they are considering it. Than I talked to him on Thursday too. I do not remember Thursdays phone call to much though. But I am grateful to be able to contact with them now.

I think I sent photographs of the family on Thursday because they sent Robert and I some of my son earlier that day. And when we get to Alpena on Sunday I will take more photographs of the family during the time we are there and send out more to my son on Facebook when I return home from Alpena Because they think it's more important for my son to get to know the family through photographs right now.

They also wanted me to give there number to my Biological Mother since she seemed interested in meeting my son and sending letters to my son. I was in shock when I heard this but I was happy to know that my mother did this so she can be in contact with her Grandson now too. So I told my mother not to call them until Monday late afternoon because they went out of town for the weekend and my son  returns home and takes a shower after school.

“Cookies Galore” by Sarah Johnson Tags: Cookies Galore Sarah Johnson Cookies Sarah Johnson

Cookies Galore by Sarah Johnson

Christmas traditions are a special part of everyone’s holiday season. Here is one of our favorites! Sarah Johnson shares with us her love of one Christmas tradition, “Cookies Galore!” We would love to hear about some of YOUR favorite Christmas traditions so we can share them with the members, readers, and followers of RUBY magazine.

cookies-galore-2

“I love those extravagant double-page magazine layouts with so many cookies that the dishes bump together, all jostling and glistening with excess. When chilly weather rolls around, it is to that ideal I aspire, filling as many plates and bowls as can be managed, non-stop, until by the light of my Christmas tree, every corner spills with abundance. The coldness of lack melts away, replaced by the warmth of plenty. The feast. The banquet. The joy of having more than enough to share.”

cookies-galore-1

fullscreen-capture-1212016-33751-pm

 

sarah-johnson

Sarah Johnson writes, photographs and gardens from her home near the tidal marshes of the Delaware Bay. Her work is inspired by the glory of God’s creation and the nuances of light in life, from that of literal sunshine to the shadow-dispelling joy of serving her Creator. Herding three cats, two children and a husband, keeps her busy between editing flowerbeds and weeding paragraphs. She is the editor of ‘Garden Cumberland’, a gardener’s resource that encourages others to find their hearts in the sunshine and soil of South Jersey. https://www.facebook.com/GardenCumberland

“Faucets of Living Water” by Sharon L. Patterson Tags: Faucets of Living Water Sharon L. Patterson Faucets Water Sharon Patterson

fullscreen-capture-1112016-123841-pm

John 4: 7-13 (NIV): “ When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink…(9) The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman, How can you ask me for a drink?”… (10) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.

 (11) “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? (12) Are you greater than our father Jacob who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”

 (13) Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, (14) but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

One of the greatest truths of these scriptures not only in my life personally, but through my life in ministry to others is this: we are simply faucets for God. God places us in our family, locality, and nation.

He may desire to relocate our faucet but it is never done inadvertently. He always has a designated destiny. Our faucets are strategic.  We have a responsibility to do one thing…keep our faucets clear of debris build-up. We recognize that debris as sin and the process of cleansing is the soap of confession and the disinfectant of repentance.

We never have to worry about producing water to flow through our faucets. Once we are connected to the source, the owner will turn us on and the water will flow. He is the Living Water. He is in us.

We became connected at salvation to that source through the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, our Savior. The indwelling power that surges the living water of Jesus upward through us outward to others is the Holy Spirit. God the Father owns and operates every faucet belonging to Him. It’s time to check our debris level, cleanse whatever may have accumulated, and let the water flow!

John 7:37-38 (NIV): “On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. (38) Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”

sharon patterson

Sharon L. Patterson is a regular contributor to the RUBY magazine.

Within My Heart ~ Update With The Search For My Children…
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: within my heart children twins twin daughters daughters adoption son family grandparents my children

I have great news to share tonight... I received a call this morning from the lady I am working with to find my children... First thing I hear is I have great news for you Sharmelle and Robert lol. I am like yes, in excitement; She tells me that the lady that adopted my son called her back today from the message she left her on Facebook, thanks to Robert for finding her on Facebook lol. But anyways I cannot receive her phone number until she signs a some paper work for the lady I am working with to give me her number. So my phone numbers were given to her to call me and she may give me her number when we talk again for the first time in many years. She has not called me yet but I am expecting her to call Robert and I soon.

Yippy!!! Groovy!!! Whooo-hooo!!!

Happy, Happy, Happy!!!

As for the Twins I have not heard anything yet but when and if I do I will update the news about them too ok.

Within My Heart ~ The Search For My Children…
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: within my heart children twins twin daughters daughters adoption son family grandparents my children

After searching for my children for years I finally found the right people to help me find my children that have been adopted. I was suppose to have an open adoption but I moved to Michigan; I was not well and lost all my contact information for my children. It is disappointing that I missed them while they have grown up so far… Well I have some years left before they become adults to watch them grow up if I can. I miss my children so much that I cannot wait to have the adoptive parents approval to be in contact with them. I am finally getting somewhere with the company I am using to help me find my children. I really miss my children.

 

My children have been found I am just waiting for a response from the Phone Call and Letter that have been sent out to the adoptive parents. All I want for now is to write letters to each other and share photographs. I do not want to miss anymore Birthdays either. I will eventually work my way toward phone calls and being in contact with their Grandparents that miss them so much.

 

I called Tuesday and yesterday  to check if there was any response yet and there is not so far. Than there was a few phone calls back from the lady I am working with and she asked me if I would like to start writing a letter to my children so that when and if they respond and say yes to the letters they are ready to be sent out lol. So they will have both their dad’s and My Family Medical History and letters ready to be sent to them right away. I am ending up calling the lady everyday until we get an answer lol. I cannot believe we have made it this far after having no luck on this for many years before now.

 

As for my First daughter; she turned 20 in May and I have not heard from here since last year. I know I need to write her a letter also; so that we can eventually meet like she would like too and I would like too. I have just been going through some hard times and have not thought about it for a while until now. So when I am done writing to my other children I will write back to her too.

 

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